Timing

   I said I wanted to walk on water.  I remember standing in the darkness surrounded by warm night air.  Life was difficult just then.  I looked out across the still, quiet pool and said “I want to walk on water.”

   There were many Bible stories that captured the imagination of my childhood, but that was always one of my favorites.  There was Peter seeing something out there and then, realizing it was Jesus, he said “Okay, if it’s really you, ask me to come out there with you.”  Well, Jesus said “Come on” and there Peter went without really thinking about what he was doing and then he got slapped with a wave and went down.

  That night, I stood there in the presence of my own thoughts and inside I heard “Come on.” 

   My foot reached out toward the water, then I stopped.  There was no reason not to try.  The clothing I was wearing would not suffer from being wet if I were to sink and I’m a very good swimmer.  No harm in trying.  If I succeeded, it would be the greatest boost to my faith, a boost I really needed.  If I could do that, I could do anything. 

   I thought about Peter.  How many steps did he take before the impossibility took over in his mind?  If I failed, it would be a blow to my confidence and my faith.  It would forever limit my trying impossible things.  I stood between two choices of thought at that moment.  I don’t know how much time I spent in that pull of the will before I turned and quietly walked back up to my apartment.  Life was difficult.  Maybe I had little faith, but I needed all that I had for my reality.

   I have seen many unexplainables in my life.  I’ve lived through want and plenty, pain and glory, fear and triumph.  When my dad died, a friend gave me a book titled “Walking on Water.”  I looked at the title and smiled.  It held significance without the reading.  I don’t remember the reading of it that summer.  My dad and I were close and I struggled with the memories of his passing. 

   A couple years later, when I felt I was loosing sight of myself and my purpose, I read the book.  It’s a great book by a great author about being creative.  I loved every word of it.  “Walking of water” took on a representative character.  I’ve grown and matured since that night by the pool behind my apartment.

   Yet recently I heard myself say “I want to walk on water” and I immediately cringed.  I know my faith will be tested without inviting the test.  I know there are real opportunities to exercise faith and see the miraculous.  In my spirit, I recognized that my desire was to be ready for the command when it comes. 

   As a young child, I never questioned the feasibility of walking on water.  It was so simple.  Jesus walked on water and then Peter walked on water.  I really never considered walking on water.  When my eldest daughter was a toddler, I went with her to a lake.  There was a stone dock sticking off the end of an earth and stone dam.  It wasn’t a very deep lake, but deep enough for a swim.  This was before I knew about swimmies.  Kids just got in and an adult held them until they were ready to turn loose a little.

I sat my daughter on the dock and stepped slightly back and said “Come to mommy,” or something similar.  She had played the jump off game before, so it didn’t take her long to get into this one.  Before long, she was backing up and running to jump in and have mommy pull her up just before her head was covered.

  After a good while of playing in the water with her, tired I sat her up on the bank and said.  “Go to daddy.”  She looked at her dad and turned to go to his beckoning hands.  As I started to swim away, I caught a glimpse of my running child and reversed my swim as quickly as possible.  Breathless, I reached her just in time to pull her up from a deep dive, coughing and sputtering, but bright eyed.  The water out of her nose and mouth, she laughed and giggled.  She was unaware that safety is sometimes a matter of timing.

  In my recent reply to life, I think there is a knowledge that everything has a time and season.  It may not be time to walk on water yet.  I may not know what walking on water consists of now.  Yet there will be a time when my Father says “Come on…” and I will have already settled the issue.  I hope it’s more fun this time!